Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Puttin it out there : Hanukkah Bush Edition or Silver Bells, shotgun shells.







Well, a few days have passed, a couple of warm weather days in miami makes me forget that it's a holiday at all. Maybe the 4th of July or Labor Day - So, I'm thinking about red and green fireworks and if they make cool-whip in festive holiday colors. Another reason to think that Florida is Death's waiting room and move in a Northerly direction, fast. I miss seasons, Fall- Winter- Wedding Season, Blackening Season- whatever. But- there is no mistaking this season! The stores are full of things you want to give people. I can't hardly walk thru a Target without wanting to buy toys for all the children i know. Target makes me instantly want to have children and stay at home to raise them (where alternately, Wal-Mart makes me want to beat small children, wear stiletto heals, move to new york, bleach my ovaries or possibly never have sex again .) I'm in love with all of the Christmas decorations, ornaments, lights, ribbons and bows- Toys. There is always a surplus of bikes in the isles. Plus- All you have to do is turn on the television and see the greenish glow of your childhood in shows like "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer""Frosty the Snowman" and "It's a Charlie Brown Christmas" & "a Christmas Carroll." BTW- who remembers Linus being so preachy? Awhh, who cares really except those crazies who think we shouldn't even mention God on TV - as if we werent adult enough to respect other folks free thinking. Charles Schultz must have been an old bible thumper from way back - the way he uses standard Christan morality in his characters- expressing his thoughts through flaws and social settings. He's telling us what to do, come to think of it. He'd be one of those people telling us that we shouldn't be watching all of this religious, right-winged, 'keep-the-Christ-in-Christmas'-crap on public television. Maybe he's a crazy. I think I'd like an aluminium tree ( pronounced with a British accent) a pink one. I digress.

Speaking of Trees. We've been busy bees in South Florida- hanging all the Christmas lights in the palms and baking all of the Cuban flavored Christmas cookies. I finally got the secret out of my dad for his biscotti and I'm making a ton of them. Sorry you wont be eating any because I'll be saving all of them for me. A little scroogey, i know. We are throwing the holiday party for Jason's Office staff- like a good housewife, I've decided that i can do it all. We bought this roasting pan from Crate and Barrel Outlet for $35. Hello Deal! We were thinking that we'd have to find like a hundred bucks or some creative solution for when we do standing rib roast. no more. - we broke it in with a chicken. How classic can you get than the smell of a roasting bird in the oven? I felt all grown up.



I think it's a funny little tradition that we wake up on a Saturday morning to watch food network ( Jason says I remind him of Nygella Lawson - to which I like to say 'thank you' at least it's not ida gardener) oh- Watch the food network and think we can do all the stuff. But, really. We can. Just ask my pancake mix or my awesome shrimp dumplings. It's a matter of purchasing the right equipment for the job. I like to think it's like my garage. So If Jason can buy tools, drills, drywall patches and sockets and oilcans and car parts and whatever to make the house and cars run- And I can buy pastry tips, Probe Thermometers, spiders, sheet pans, round casseroles and serving platters. Right!?

So, I got brave last night and told him about not wanting to go to NJ for Christmas- the part about looking like a big jerkey redneck. It didn't go as planned. I planned for a big fight where we poked at each other's families, who makes more money, who is fucking who's life, and who gets the dog in the divorce. But, surprisingly, he was really understanding. He listened to me and asked me questions about how I was feeling and why i was so down on myself. He just really stepped up to me and took care of me. I can't state strongly enough- how i don't deserve him. He's much too much for me. All he wants to do is Love me and spend time with me. I guess that is what marriage is supposed to be like. What is wrong with me that i'm worried that i've got it right. I should be proud of the person i am & more importantly, proud that i've found something that the rest of the world is still looking for. (there is a voice in my mind that states the obvious from time to time, it sounds like tyler durden. I am jack's false notion of relationships.) Got all brave and full of myself and the big fight in my head turned out to be a long night in bed with the love of a lifetime. It makes me want to live forever. Ok...be done before it gets weird.
It's not all canoodling, cooking and Christmas around the house. we also take part in all the normal things life has to give us, like washing the dog. My dog- loves to be in water, loves swimming, took to the surf like champ- but wont get in the bath tub. It scares him to pieces. I wonder why that is. I have never met a dog that would, when asked, hop in the tub and get washed. It's aways a nuts-o production of dog running wet thru the house with a soapy (and most times half dressed) close behind. Enzo (my dog, not my car) looks like an angry rat when totally drenched, but shakes out into this fluffy brown movie star when he's all brushed and cute. It leads me to believe that under most yippy small dogs is a mad rodent running half soaped from a groomer- and that makes me smile.









Merry Christmas Folks.